When to say "ENOUGH!"

You know you are at your limit when your response to your babysitter's text calling off is to burst into tears.  Under normal circumstances I am frustrated when my childcare falls through.  Generally, I schedule childcare only for work, volunteer obligations, my children's school activities, and appointments.  While I certainly need a break whether I have something planned or not, 9 times out of 10 it is a real inconvenience and disappointment to have to shuffle things around or cancel plans.  Thankfully, often, like today, a good friend is willing to help if she can and we live close enough to make that a viable last minute option.  I thank God for placing people squarely in my life who can provide me with support and with whom I can be in close relationship.

Today, my plans during the morning when I had scheduled a sitter included a parent visitation day- one of only 2-3 per year- at L1's school.  It was to be immediately followed by the monthly postpartum support group that I facilitate.  While I was looking forward to both of these events personally, I also knew that the impact would be even greater for my son and the moms that were planning to attend the group.  My friend J watched L2 during the visitation and then we realized I could return the favor for her immediately following by watching her youngest while she went to a tennis lesson.  I was able to see God even in the midst of being overwhelmed as I realized how often "things just seem to work out".  Additionally, I thank God for a woman who has been attending the group regularly for almost two years.  Because she has worked so hard on her recovery and dedicated her time also to the benefit of the group, I completely trust her to provide, in my absence, the support and resources needed by those in attendance.

So, this morning, while different and a little more harried than I expected, did "all work out".  Yet, it would be irresponsible of me not to recognize that my tears just weren't about this morning.  As I look at the big picture, I see that I've been making poor choices in some areas of my life lately.  Going to bed too late, not drinking enough water, over-scheduling myself, letting things get disorganized in some areas of my life and over-doing it in others.  There are piles of clothes in my bedroom.  The bin of Easter decorations is still sitting where I left it on Easter Monday.  The sink is full of dishes.  While the piles will wait, what I do know about myself is that when my environment is in disarray, I feel less settled in my life in general.  Procrastinating putting clothes away or cleaning up is not helping me to relax at all, rather it's adding to the chaos in my house and in my head.

April and May are always busy and stressful months due to reoccurring events that happen every single year.  Choosing to add on additional obligations, even fun things, clearly adds pressure and spreads me thinner.

Last weekend I found myself on that edge.  I was beginning to feel tired and run down, and wonder if I had a "touch of something".  I found myself being short with my family and more emotional about things that I normally would have let slide.  Even planning a vacation or confirming L1's summer camp plans became a stressor.  When I was over the top by Monday, I should have seen this coming and taken a few things off my plate.  A girl's night out or a dinner date with your husband doesn't do you much good if having just one more thing on your calendar is what is making you feel emotionally vulnerable.

I have a lot I should be doing today.  Lots of errands, work, housekeeping, and paperwork.  But when you find yourself tearing up for the first time in nearly a year over a sitter crapping out on you, it's a sign that everything else needs to be put on pause and you need a warm cup of tea and a date with the couch and a good book or some mindless TV while your toddler naps.

I often find myself giving out great advice, but struggling to follow it.  Today, I choose to follow my own lead.  To respond graciously to my own yearning for quiet, for calm, for respite. To say ENOUGH.

Postpartum Support International Announcements for April 2013

2013 PSI Annual Conference with NAMI Minnesota

June 19-22, Minneapolis

Pre-Conference June 19-20

Main Conference June 21-22

Banquet & Silent Auction 6/21

The 26th annual PSI Conference is co-sponsored with NAMI-Minnesota and in collaboration with Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota. We are thrilled with the caliber of the Conference Program with keynotes, breakouts, and poster presentations selected for their quality, innovation, and expertise. Register now and check out our great group discount at the Millennium Minneapolis Hotel! Join the PSI Conference Facebook Event and let us know you're coming!

Conference Sponsors, Vendors, and Auction Donors

We are seeking sponsors, vendors, and auction donations to help NAMI-MN and PSI raise awareness and support the conference expenses. Check out the PSI Website to make a Silent Auction Donation, and find Sponsorship and Vendor options and benefits.

PSI Trainings & Events

PSI Certificate of Completion Course: 
"Perinatal Mood Disorders: Components of Care"

• June19-20:Minneapolis, MN
• August 29-30:Winfield, IL 
• September 23-24: La Teppe France
• Oct 24-25: Grand Rapids, MI 
• TBA: Edmonton, Alberta
• TBA: Fresno, CA

Learn more about PSI Trainings and upcoming events.

Follow PSI on Social Media

Dads! Chat with a Postpartum Depression Expert on Monday, April 1

MON Apr1. PSI Toll-free "Chat with an Expert" for Dads
5pm Pacific/7pm Central/8pm Eastern
1-800-944-8766 Code 33702  

Hosted by David Miller, MD, PhD. Find out more HERE.

David Miller, MD, PhD is an obstetrician-turned-psychiatrist who specializes in women's mood disorders with particular focus on Perinatal Mood Disorders. He is a founding board member for Postpartum Education and Support, Inc. in North Carolina, and maintains a private practice in Wake Forest, NC. You can learn more about Dr. Miller and his practice at his website.

On Tapering off of Prescription Medications for PPD

L2 is almost two.  In just two more months, he will celebrate his birthday and I will celebrate having gotten through those incredibly amazing, and sometimes rough, first two years of birthing and then maintaining a little person.  Faster growth and development happens in the brain and body in those first two years than at any other time in the human life.  It's astounding to me!  I've almost managed to navigate being the guide for two completely different little boys through this incredibly overwhelming and humbling (for the mama) process of transitioning from a newborn to a toddler twice now.

A few months ago (actually back in December, right after Christmas), I began to feel it was time to consider the process of weaning from the medication that I took to (very briefly treat, and then) prevent postpartum depression and anxiety in 2011 after suffering it so severely after my first son in 2007.  Because I had been so married to all things natural before, during, and for a bit after my pregnancy with L1, even once I had agreed to take psychiatric meds beginning at six weeks postpartum, it seemed that I never stopped planning for or anticipating the day that I would no longer take them.  I was consumed with what were probably even obsessional thoughts about being able to function as a non-depressed mom, and even more-so being able to sleep without the aid of medication.  I voraciously read and discussed research regarding recurrence of symptoms and relapse and had decided that my magic number was 18 months.  Knowing my very rigid self at the time (in early 2009), I am quite certain that it was probably18 months to the day after I had begun taking SSRIs and other medications for my severe PMAD, that I began the process of no longer taking them.

I want to warn you that I do not, as in DO NOT, recommend this to anyone else.  Clearly I am a freakishly over-informed, but completely non-medical-professional person.  So, yes, I can rationalize my choice to taper off my meds the first time without being under the direct care of a mental health provider.  However, I realize now that I still probably should have done things differently.  Not because my plan didn't work, but because it was irresponsible for me to have done it.  So I'm telling ya...talk to your doc before, during, and after tapering down or weaning off your meds.  It's the smart thing to do.  Don't be a dummy like I was the first time, going it alone; especially when there are so many trained folks who can help you.

Anyway, back to then.  Tapering off my meds was probably so easy for me the first time is because a) I was so damn hell-bent on being drug-free from day one.  b) I went so slowly that I am surprised a pill cutter was able to cut the halves of halves of halves I was taking at the end of the process.  c) I had read a ridiculous amount of research about how to do this safely and with the least side effects, as well as the lowest rate of relapse. d) I talk to a ton of people who are mental health professionals on a regular basis, even though they never "treated" me as their patients (people I have professional relationships with whom I refer to and who refer their clients to me for peer support.).  These are folks who can spot problems with meds or a shift in mood or wellness across a crowded ballroom and so I was confident that they would give me the nudge (or hammer over the head) if they were concerned about how I was doing.

Thanks for sticking with me so far, despite my little lecture and tangent.  I realize that you're probably reading this for one of two reasons: either you want to know how to successfully taper off of your meds someday (note: It is perfectly cool if you and/or your doctor feel that medication is something that is a part of your lifetime wellness plan, postpartum or not.  Not everyone can or should wean off of meds.  Period.) or you have been following my story for a long time and wonder how things are going with round two of "mission senza medicina".  I'll get to all that now.

If your reason is of the how-to variety, then this part will be helpful, but is SO NOT MEDICAL ADVICE (I say that for liability purposes and just 'cause I care about you).  I'm not going to give you details about the medications themselves or the doses, but I will tell you how I did things the first time around.  Beginning at around 16 or 17 months (because all the research I mentioned above tends to land on the same result- 15-18 months on a therapeutic dose of a medication for a PMAD is the sweet spot for preventing relapse), I started taking a look at the calendar, planning to make changes at strategic times (i.e. not while traveling, while in the midst of a stressful project at work, in the middle of the holidays, or while hosting visitors, etc.).  Once I had identified what seemed to be a smart window of opportunity for beginning the process, I strategized around which of the three medications I was on at the time would be the most difficult for me to physically and emotionally wean from.  I identified the increments of dosage and time that I would stairstep through as I completely weaned from one medication, prior to tackling meds number two, and three.  Now, while this happened to be the smart way for me to go last time (and is similar to my plan this time for the two medications I am on- as it turns out I didn't need a third this time thanks to early intervention and less trauma), it is not necessarily what your doctor might find best for you.  I have heard of some folks slowly reducing their doses of multiple meds at the same time, with the end goal of being on lower doses or completely coming off of the medication.  Just like symptoms and treatment plans are super unique, it's my educated guess that tapering plans should be just as individualized.

Now for timing...while many doctors will suggest mere days or a week at each lesser dose during the tapering process, I chose one month.  I decreased my dose by 25% and then took that dose for an entire month before reducing again.  Granted, I took twice the number of milligrams of an SSRI (the same brand I took this time) during my first postpartum period so this took a little while.  I then tackled the second and third meds in the same way, though I was able to do so just slightly faster, until the last 25% or so, because both medications were meant to be more of anti-anxiety/obsession related in an effort to keep my incredibly overwhelming insomnia manageable.

I'm not sure exactly when it was, but prior to L1's second birthday I am pretty sure I was able to be completely free from taking prescription meds on a daily basis.  In addition to herbs and homeopathy, as well as some other helpful tools like sleep cds, an anti-anxiety self-help program, massage, etc., I did continue to take an anti-anxiety medication on occasion to treat severe insomnia (which happened rarely despite my overwhelming fears) or the fairly infrequent anxiety attack (which tends to happen when I have had a triggering experience or one too many alcoholic beverages the night before).  It's smart to have a go-to if you suffer from anxiety, so I don't recommend throwing your medication away (unless it is expired), even if you have completely weaned.  Sometimes just the knowledge that you have it in your "toolkit"is enough and you won't need to actually take it.  And other times?  You might be thanking God you don't have to wait for a prescription because x, y, and z (or nothing at all) happened and you're having one hell of a panic attack that no amount of deep breathing will combat.

So this time, I'm using a similar strategy...slow and steady.  And most importantly, under the care of a physician.  Interestingly, a deep desire not to take medication is not the driving force of this taper.  I don't really care about the stigma or if someone "finds out" and I've even gotten past my completely inflexible need for all things natural in my home.  Moderation has become my friend for a multitude of reasons.  Somewhat financial (we just can't afford to eat 100% organic foods as a family of four).  Some in an effort to combat my inflexibility ("My child will not die from a hot dog, a Hi-C, or watching more than 30 minutes of television."  repeat.).  And partially because I feel strongly I need to practice what I preach.  (I can't go to support group meetings or respond to posts in online groups urging moms who are suffering such severe symptoms to consider medication, if I'm secretly against taking it myself.)  The truth is I'm not against it.  I actually went on an SSRI this time around sharing openly that I would be okay with taking a low dose the rest of my life if I needed to.  That first week or so postpartum scared me (again) enough to convince me that feeling that way long-term was not necessary and no way to live.  The good news is that it turns out I have just felt normal and "good" for most of the time on the medication (the entire second postpartum period).  I had reached that 18 month point that felt safe to give this a go.  I'm blessed that the motivation of this taper is as simple as that.

So where I am today?  I am on day four (or is it five?) of not taking any SSRIs.  It happened accidentally.  I actually intended to be on the 25% dose for a little longer.  L2 is at an incredibly whiny phase and we have some traveling coming up.  I thought it would be smart to wait until after.  But then?  I forgot to take my medication one afternoon.  And by the next day, when I actually remembered, I was busy and kept telling myself I would go get a little 1/4 pill as soon as I completed just "one more thing".  Except I just kept working, and then it was dinnertime, and then it was bathtime, and then it was bedtime.  And then I feel asleep in L1's bed that night.  And by then it was the third day.  And it seemed kind of silly to take something I hadn't taken for like 60 hours or so.  So I just didn't.  And my brain didn't explode.  And I didn't curl up into a ball and cry incessantly.  And I didn't get a headache or a stomachache.  But I did feel like I was going to pass out at church yesterday.  And I did tear up when the Gospel was read and I heard the crucifixion story being read in great detail.  And then I saw my older son sing beautifully, in front of about 300 people, about Jesus' entry into Jerusalem.  And my heart swelled with joy.  A normal, "awe, how sweet", kind of feeling. And I realized that I don't feel woozy or a little out of it because I have low blood sugar. (I couldn't quite come up with answers I should have known at trivia last night and words like "saucepan" are escaping me this morning.)  It's because my brain is having to work out it's serotonin issue on its own, without the aid of that little re-uptake inhibitor.

So...these blips, or "brain zaps", will go away in a few days.  I'm pretty sure of it.  And if they don't, then I'll go back on that teeny tiny dose and try again another time.  Because you know what?  If this 5.5 year journey has taught me anything, it's that the only thing about my PPD, mental health, medication, or recovery that really matters to my family is that I am well.  My kids don't care if I take 5 mg of this or .5 mg of that.  All they really want is a mama who can give them big hugs, read them books, and jump on the trampoline with them.  And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to give them that woman.  In fact, I kind of I like her.

Where to Find a Strong PPD Community

Hey y'all.  I want to apologize for not being around much lately.  This Lent I decided to take a break from Facebook and Twitter, and even though I'm still managing the Beyond Postpartum, Atlanta Mom, Atlanta Maternal Mental Health, and Warrior Mom Book Club pages/groups, I've been pretty scarce, even there.  My apologies- please know I am still reading and thinking about Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders every. single. day.  Even when I haven't been blogging much or I'm not tweeting, I still stay in the loop as much as I can.

I've been wanting to put together an updated list of resources for a while, mainly because there are so darn many of them now- which is an awesome thing!  If you don't see a group, website, or resource below that you believe should be listed, please email me at atlantamom930 (@) gmail.com with all the details.

First- Pinterest.  Besides being the most fun and creative time-suck ever, Pinterest is actually a terrific tool for finding articles, blog posts, charts, lists, inspirational quotes and images, etc. related to maternal wellness.  I have a Maternal Mental Health Pinterest board, as well as a Mommy Encouragement board.  Check them out and feel free to follow.  I'm also a part of several group boards related to PPD, including Postpartum Depression Hope and Women's Mental Health.

I hope you already know about these "oldies but goodies", but just in case you are finding this post as someone new to this world, the following sites should be bookmarked ASAP:
Postpartum Support International (organization promoting awareness, prevention and treatment of mental health issues related to childbearing in every country worldwide)
Postpartum Progress (read daily posts ranging from personal stories to news and research)
Postpartum Progress Daily Hope (a subscription service in which you can receive daily emails filled with encouragement for your journey)
My Postpartum Voice- #PPDChat (join a weekly online chat and/or become a part of this virtual community of women impacted by PMADs)
The Postpartum Stress Center Blog (written by Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW)
Band Back Together (so much more than just about PPD, in a good way)

Here are a few Facebook groups for those with PPD/raising awareness around PMADs:
PPDChat Support
Postpartum Depression Awareness
Mama's Comfort Camp (supportive mothering community not just for PPD Mamas)
Warrior Mom Book Club (reads 4 books each year and discusses them via a google and/or Facebook group, our discussion becomes an interview which is then posted at Postpartum Progress)
The Fearless Formula Feeder (combating stigma around feeding, as well as generally banding together against the "mommy wars")

One last thing...I highly recommend a local, peer support group in addition to seeing your physician and/or therapist and seeking out online resources.  Seeing someone face to face and knowing that you are, in real life, not at all alone in your struggle is huge.  And often, the facilitator or other members of the group are recovering or have recovered and can offer you not only an empathetic point of view, but proof of the reality of overcoming PPD.

Peace,

Buy Something Snuggly for Baby and Benefit Postpartum Progress

Announcing the first baby product created specifically to help fight postpartum depression!

Jammies are the creation of Hélène Laure, a fashion designer whose clothing designs for women have been sold to such specialty stores as Henri Bendel, Bloomingdale's, Bergdorf Goodman and Saks Fifth Avenue.  Helene wanted to create a new business that gives back, so she designed Jammies with the intention of helping to benefit moms with postpartum depression. For each Jammie's Jar sold, Helene's company, Two Mice, A Bear and A Bunny LLC, will donate 10% of the profit to Postpartum Progress, the national nonprofit that raises awareness of postpartum depression and promotes better support and services for pregnant and new mothers with mental illness.

Jammies onesies for babies are 100% pure cotton onesies for boys and girls made from a soft and breezy light gauge cotton Jersey that are are uniquely packaged in a sweet little jam jar. The design is reminiscent of the all-American long john, with its henley tab closing and ribbed cuffs, and a flirty ruffle added to the girls' style. Mr. Bear, Lily (the bunny) and Cinnamon & Ginger (the identical mouse twins) are the delightfully hand-drawn characters featured on Jammies onesies. 

Order them here: http://www.postpartumprogress.com/jammies-onesies-raise-postpartum-depression-awareness.

PSI Annual Conference Announces Online Registration Open

Online registration is now open for the 26th Annual Postpartum Support International (PSI) Conference: Innovation and Advocacy to Support the Mental Health of Pregnant and Postpartum Families. The conference will be held in beautiful downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota on June 21 and 22, 2013. Additionally, on June 19 and 20, 2013 PSI will hold its annual PSI 2-day pre-conference Certificate of Completion Course Training, Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders: Components of Care.

• June 19-20 PSI Certificate of Completion Course Training, Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders: Components of Care.
• June 20: PSI Volunteer’s Meeting & Dinner
• June 20: New Members Evening Reception
• June 21-22: Main Conference: Keynotes, Breakouts, and Posters
• June 21: Annual Banquet & Silent Auction with Keynote Speaker Mary Jo Codey

PSI is pleased to present a 2013 conference program that is so diverse and innovative, representing a breadth of expertise and investigation. You can register online right here www.psiconference2013.eventbrite.com and find information about lodging at the beautiful Millennium Hotel Minneapolis at a great discount group rate of $125/nite.

The annual Postpartum Support International conference provides an opportunity to meet, learn together, and share ideas with others who are concerned about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). The purpose of the conference is to bring together and inform medical and mental health providers, childbirth professionals, support and resource providers, caregivers, policy-makers, researchers, volunteers, families, and educators who want to improve their understanding of PMADs and improve their ability to serve childbearing families. CE, CME, CLE, and CERP credits pending.

• Find the whole conference program on the PSI websitewww.postpartum.net/News-and-Events/PSI-2013-Annual-Conference-Program.aspx.
• Check here for Sponsorship and Exhibitor Information.
• To contribute to our vital volunteer conference scholarship fund, please write to us at psioffice@postpartum.net

Postpartum Support International and NAMI Minnesota are excited to be co-sponsoring the PSI annual conference in collaboration with Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota (PPSM). For more information about the organizations, visit Postpartum Support International www.postpartum.net,NAMI Minnesota www.namihelps.org, and the PSI affiliate Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota www.pregnancypostpartumsupportmn.com.

I was pleased to attend the PSI annual conference in my hometown of Pittsburgh in 2010, at which I also participated in the training.  I highly recommend ALL professionals, and any advocates who are able to, make it a priority to attend.

Presentation on Maternal Mental Health makes HUGE impact at the Georgia Capitol

Thanks to everyone who has promoted and supported Maternal Mental Health Week in Georgia, which isn't over yet!

This photo was taken after the presentation to the Health and Human Services Committee by Sarah Schwartz, Executive Director of Mental Health America of GA and PPD Survivor. MHA's Project Healthy Moms is one of the only state-wide resources for maternal mental health in Georgia.  

At the presentation, many survivors and supporters wore green sashes to show our commitment to the cause of maternal mental health. Our presence said "I am a survivor. I stand for awareness, education, and support of mothers. Maternal Mental Health is important to EVERYONE in this state and in the world."  I am proud to have been there in person to put a face to Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders.

Sarah's presentation and the energy generated by the folks in the room was already powerful, but even more so for me was the number of Health and Human Services Committee members (who are Representatives in the Georgia House for various districts) who came up to us afterwards to offer support, business cards, and offers to help promote awareness.  One Representative even said, "I teared up during your presentation...it was so moving.  I had Postpartum OCD."

With your help, we can continue to raise aware and grow these efforts towards education, prevention, and treatment of PMADs for every single woman in the state of Georgia and beyond.

~Special thanks to all who made this week possible...Governor Nathan Deal, Health and Human Services Committee Chairman Rep. Sharon Cooper, Marian Kelly (who donated the fabric and sewed our sashes), the staff at MHA, the volunteers who came to put a face to the illness and those who treat it, and all of you for spreading the word!!!

JOIN MHA OF GEORGIA IN COMMEMORATING MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK, FEBRUARY 3-9, 2013!

   

Due to the efforts of Mental Health America of Georgia's Project Healthy Moms initiative and  the Georgia Coalition on Maternal Mental Health, Governor Nathan Deal has declared February 3-9, 2013 as Georgia's official "Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week". During this week, we ask healthcare professionals and compassionate individuals who care about Georgia's mothers to ask the question: what can we do better in Georgia to provide for the mental health of our mothers? The awareness week will serve as a means to kick off the efforts of the Coalition, and advocate for the future mental health of Georgia's mothers. 

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week Activities: 

• Join us at the Georgia Capitol on February 6, 2013 at 3:00pm to advocate for making maternal mental health a priority in our state! 
• For everything you want to know about maternal mental health and more, join us at Northside Hospital's cafeteria (1000 Johnson Ferry Road, Atlanta, GA 30342) on February 7, 2013, 11:00am-2:00pm where we'll be promoting Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. 
• Project Healthy Moms is launching the Warmline, a peer-support and resource linkage service for mothers throughout the state of Georgia, in Spanish! 
• E-toolkits with information about screening and resources for maternal mental illness are going out to county health departments and home visiting programs throughout Georgia.
• Project Healthy Moms is finalizing our partnership with the March of Dimes NICU program, which will help inform new mothers, whose babies are in the NICU, about mental health resources in Georgia.  
• An article about maternal mental health, written by the Program Manager of Project Healthy Moms at MHA of Georgia, will be published in the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies February newsletter. 

For more information on Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, click here to visit our website, or contact Liz at liz@mhageorgia.org. 

Best under duress?

My kids were out of school for three weeks over the holidays.  During that time, we traveled, there was illness, my childcare was extremely limited, though my workload was about average, and my usual self-care rituals were cut back dramatically.  Yet, when I went in to my neuromuscular therapist (he does cranio-sacral, massage, and chiropractic work on me for both my physical well-being- back and neck issues, and mental health- cranio-sacral is effective in improving brain function), he mentioned that my shoulder muscles, which are a direct barometer of my stress level, were the least tense he'd ever experienced.  I couldn't believe it.  I mean, I'd had my kids without any childcare at all for 10 straight days at that point!

Last Sunday, my husband went on a business trip on Sunday morning.  By late Monday he called me complaining of illness, by very late Tuesday he arrived home just in time to fall in bed (alone), and by 9:30am on Wednesday a flu test had confirmed he had influenza.

Now, if there's anything that triggers us it's germs.  I wouldn't say were are phobic, per se (well, maybe M is...), but we definitely seem to be more concerned than the average bear about illness.  We make wellness and immunity a priority, giving our kids high quality vitamins and supplements, and do our best to limit their exposure to really germ-laden places (i.e. no Chuck-E-Cheese, Gymboree, or Monkey Joes for us in the Winter).  And, since we've had our second child, we've decided not to travel by air as a family in the flu season either.  We wash our hands a ton and overall just try to be careful about our exposure.  It doesn't limit our activities too much, as we continue to enjoy the things we really like to do, like going indoor rock-climbing, going out to eat occasionally, and spending time with friends.

In any case, you could say that the past five or six weeks has been stressful.  I've been parenting mostly on my own since Jan. 2nd.  Work has really geared up for me, with a new parenting group starting, a transition in staffing in the area I supervise, and an official launch of the website I've been working with a team on for several years about to take place.  Also?  I've had some difficult stuff go on in my personal life with a couple of different friends that has left me a little sensitive and hurt.  But, the weird thing is that I feel great.  The boys and I are into a routine.  Thankfully, while our babysitters were both really ill before Christmas, we've been able to have adequate childcare so far in 2013.  We had a terrific weather weekend in Atlanta and I spent tons of time outdoors, playing in the sandbox, on the trampoline, and teaching L1 how to play kickball.

I guess what I am saying is that it seems that when I feel and do my best is directly correlated to having a lot going on and to being in what would typically be labeled as fairly intense situations.  Trust me, I'm not wishing for bad things or stress to descend upon me permanently, I mean everyone has their breaking point.  However, I am wondering if I tend to be a person who thrives with that extra bit of adrenaline.  It does make a bit of logical sense to me, seeing as to how my entire childhood could have been labeled as "under duress".  I don't remember a single day lacking an intense feeling of stress, much of which was not irrational or everyday stress, but rather stress related to my safety and to the well-being of others.  Perhaps my body's defense mechanism was to modify itself to function optimally under those conditions?  It does seem that in adulthood I have chosen much healthier situations and that I am able to relax and certainly have not felt as if I am under constant duress for a very long time.  But, perhaps, deep in the vault within my brain, that super-girl lies in wait to conquer all and flood me with productivity and positivity when things get tough.  In any case, I am grateful.

How about you?  Do you find that you do well under intense, occasional stress or does everyday life tend to be when you are at your best?