The Strength and Influence of a Survivor

Half.  That's about how many women who RSVP to the in-person support group that I facilitate actually attend the meeting.  Half.  That's about how many ask for resources after the meeting.  Half.  That's about how many follow-up after I send resources to let me know how they're doing.  Half.  That's about how many attend a second meeting.

50% might seem like a failure.  In fact, growing up in a traditional school, a 50% grade was most certainly far from passing.  But, I am considering today what it means in a support group setting, and I don't think it is always negative.  From another perspective, it might just be about meeting needs.  See, I believe a lot of women who come to the meeting have a need that they can't quite articulate.  Not a list of doctors or therapists, though this is a common need, for sure.  But rather, acknowledgement.  Validation.  Assurance.  And then, reassurance.

When you are experiencing a PMAD, feeling alone, strange, guilty, bewildered, hopeless and uncertain are common and overwhelming emotions.  The one thing that peer support, when provided by a survivor of a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, can provide that no other treatment option can, is validation.  The knowledge that this illness is real.  That someone else really has been through it, and perhaps been as devastated as you have by it.  That they have survived and recovered.  Looking into another woman's eyes and hearing her say to you, "You will get better.  You did not cause this.  I have been there, too.  I will help you.", can be the difference between hope and Hell.

Postpartum Progress begins "Daily Hope"

Dear friends,
I hope that you'll run, not walk, to the Postpartum Progress site to sign up for an awesome new initiative that Katherine Stone has created for mothers suffering from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.  Here's what Katherine says about this new Postpartum Progress feature:

"This service is specifically for those of you who are currently suffering from postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, antenatal depression or related illnesses.  I know that many of you don't have access to support groups or the best specialists.  You may not have people around you that understand.  Need some extra hope each day from people who DO get it?  Someone to shine a light towards the end of the tunnel?  That's Daily Hope!"

Read more about Daily Hope here.  

Sign up for Daily Hope here.

The Power of One Word

When I think back to my postpartum experience, especially the part (which was practically the whole) related to depression and anxiety, I can easily think of one word to sum it up.  Sure, it was such a complicated, deep, dark hole.  Yet, there is one particular word that for me defines it.  In a way that were this word removed from my vocabulary or the English language, I would be helpless to replace it with anything that comes close to depicting the depth and breadth of the Hell that is severe PPD...


Hopelessness.

That was the worst part.  For many of us who have endured physical or emotional pain before, the present, our current reality, even in the midst of the darkest days of life, is not the concern.  No, the pain itself is somehow temporarily manageable, though deeply uncomfortable.  Rather, the thought, the mere idea, that the pain might not ever end is unfathomable.  But, since PPD creates that kind of inexplicably horrifying terror, the mind is convinced that the Hell will not cease.  That this terrible pain and anxiety will continue for eternity (or at least your lifetime).  And that untruth is as deeply intertwined in the PPD experience as the guilt that accompanies it.

Hope.  The one word that changes everything.  The one gift that can be offered time and time again, by person after person, and still repeatedly disbelieved by its desperate and devastated recipient.  Yet, its power is endless.  In the midst of tragedy, loss, pain, and even desperation, hope is the only saving grace.  So let's use it wisely...which means using it broadly...again and again, without ceasing, until every woman accepts and knows that she will get better.

It is there for you, too.  I promise.

HOPE.

Calling all Pregnant PPD or PPA Survivor Mamas!

Are you a Survivor Mama (a survivor of a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder) that is currently expecting a child or has recently given birth?  If so, please email me at atlantamom930@gmail.com!  We'll form a support network (more details TBD) to walk through this journey together.

The Ups and Downs of PPD Recovery

Even though I talk to moms battling PPD every week, now that I am 3+ years out I must admit I was beginning to become mentally more factual than emotional about signs, symptoms and details regarding postpartum depression and anxiety recovery.  I realize that now.

In the past few weeks, as I talked with women in the middle of the storm, or even well into recovery, I didn't have to dig very deep to remember...truly remember...those blasted "bad days" that shake you to your very core, even when you think you're past the roller coaster stage of your journey.  They happen.  That's a fact.  We say it all the time. We try to remind moms during support chats, email or phone conversations and in-person support groups that bad days are just what they sound like..."bad days".  But when you're having one, in the midst of a day that feels like a month, it's kind of hard to believe it.

Here's what a bad day isn't:

• One bad day isn't a sign of relapse.
• A bad day isn't a signal that all of your future days will be bad.
• A bad day isn't a sign that you did something wrong.
• A bad day doesn't mean that similar days in the future will be bad.
• A bad day, no matter how much it feels like it won't, WILL END.

If we're honest, we don't really know what triggers "bad days" or why they happen, even after a string of good ones or having been "recovered" for months. Sure, sometimes there is rhyme or reason to it (your car breaks down, your child doesn't nap or is up all night vomiting and you're sleep deprived, you get in an argument with your husband or sister...), but often, the day, which may be just like any other you've had in the past (a regular ole' Tuesday in the middle of the month), doesn't offer you any insight into why it stinks so badly.  It just does.

If you are struggling with a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder right now, please rest assured that while you will have bad days (I have yet to meet a Survivor Mama who hasn't), they will become fewer and further between as you recover.  And to prepare for when you have one, arm yourself with the resources you need to get through it and remind yourself repeatedly throughout the day that just like the other bad days you've had in the past, there will be an end and more good days do lie ahead.