BEST. DECISION. EVER.

Despite some challenges like a bit of a PPD/PPA recurrence, having to give up breastfeeding for various reasons, a baby with some major reflux, a husband who had to go on a three day business trip, and a three-year-old who is adjusting to not being the center of the universe...

THIS?

Was SO worth it.

Happy two week birthday, little man.  I love you to the moon and back!

And then there were FOUR...

After a beautiful and blissful birth our family grew by one.

We welcome with love to our family...L2!

Less than 72 hours...

• until I hear my baby cry for the first time.
• until I see how much hair this baby has and how much he weighs.
• until I know how much different this birth experience will really be.
• until I say "yes" instead of "no" when asked if I am ready to see my baby.  
• until I am a mama of two.

This time...

• I look forward to being the first, not the last, to hold my baby.  
• I look forward to spending as much time "just the two of us" in the hospital as possible to get our early bonding on.  
• I am grateful that I have been smart (and humble) enough to ask for help.  I said "yes" to each offer made, including meals, childcare, hand-holding, and whatever else anyone offers to do (including cleaning, dishes and laundry)!
• I plan to be open about what I need in the hospital and home.  Including letting family and friends know when I need a little quiet (i.e., no news watching in my hospital room), a little rest (i.e., I might put a "do not disturb" sign on my door and mean it...including unnecessary checks by nurses), and including planning to have visitors help with the home and big brother...and leave the holding and feeding of baby brother to me, unless I ask for help.
• I plan to unmarry myself to any definitive plans, including breastfeeding, sleeping in the same room, etc., if needed. The best mom I can be will be a result of my using my gut and being well.  Whatever that looks like is just fine with me.
• I will prioritize caring for myself.  Writing, seeing my doctor and therapist, eating well and staying hydrated, getting rest and taking time for a bath or shower will all take precedence over being a hostess or having a clean sink.  

I look forward to sharing our good news with you.  Until then, I am grateful for your support throughout my pregnancy and I am hoping and praying above hope that this time will be the kind of different that encourages, inspires and offers you reassurance and hope.

Blessings,

(Happy) Mother's Day!

Postpartum Progress hosts 3rd Annual Rally for Moms' Mental Health

Get ready to do a lot of reading this Sunday (or next week) as Postpartum Progress hosts the Mother's Day Rally for Mom's Mental Health.  As Katherine shares on her blog, "You'll be hearing from each of them, every hour on the hour, starting at 12:01am on Mother's Day, May 8th, on the importance of mothers' emotional health and on surviving PPD and related illnesses."

Motherwoman's touching Mother's Day Video

From their website..."MotherWoman found a unique way to celebrate mothers. We engaged our community in creating this video to honor the gifts we receive from mothers. Families and friends told us what they treasure most. We asked internationally known singer/songwriter powerhouses, The Nields, to write a love song to mothers. Amazing family photographer Sarah Prall captured the beauty of area mothers, fathers and children. We hope you enjoy this tribute and share it with the mothers you love!"

POEM's Tonya Fulwilder talks to her local news anchor about PPD

In this short video POEM's Executive Director, Tonya Fulwilder, talks about her PPD experience and her work to help other mothers in her area:

Another Powerful Word

Compassion:  A word with a latin root, meaning "to suffer with".  A word, as I really consider it, that is almost as valuable as "hope".  We talk a lot about hope here.  We offer stories of hope.  Of healing.  We hold hope for mamas who are struggling and can't seem to find any reason in the midst of their illness to support being hopeful.  We hope and pray for recovery for all PPD mamas.  Pregnant and adoptive Survivor Mamas hope for the best this time and hold on to the possibility that the Hell they experienced the last time will never meet them again.

Equally important, though, to "hope" is the way that we walk with others who are suffering.  Why do we do this?  Not only to provide hope, but to take a bit, even if only a minute amount, of someone else's pain and carry it.  By suffering with other moms, we show them that we are willing to offer our time, our support and our compassion to them.  And, only we can do this.  Why?  Because only one who knows this pain can truly offer this gift.  Sure, family and friends, and even near strangers can be sympathetic, helpful and loving.  But Survivor Mamas?  You, my friends, have been given the opportunity to show true compassion.  The kind that boldly says to a mom, "I understand.  You are not alone.  I am there for you.  I know you will get better.  And until then?  I will suffer with you."